Nice Guys™

There's a huge difference between a Nice Guy and a Nice Guy™.  As a Nice Guy you would never ever wish to fall into the latter category.  I see the term bandied about a lot, primarily on feminist blog comments, when a "What about the menz?" person shows up and refuses to unpack their privilege before diving in to educate us all about how wrong we are and that women are the root of all evil and feminism isn't needed any more because "Look it's made you all frigid and not responsive to my wonderful self when I try so hard and all the bastards just win the booty" and, well, "WHAT ABOUT THE MENZ?"

Nice Guys™ aren't very nice, unfortunately. They spend their lives pretending to be onside with the feminist agenda but only because they think they'll get a shag out of it. When no shag is forthcoming then feminism is feminazism (I hate that term and use it only as someone else's descriptor - comparing the mass genocide of millions of people to equality for women is wildly misguided and incredibly offensive) and women are all suddenly bitches when they disagree with his tactics.

"I was a nice guy, I bought her flowers, I held the door open, I watched her awful tv shows and went to her women's studies classes with her AND STILL SHE WOULDN'T PUT OUT" is how a Nice Guy's™ brain works. All he's after is the woman's genitalia as the prize. Women in his life are there for him and do not have agency or ownership of their own minds or bodies. Nice Guys™ can be very dangerous. I find them to be creepy.  The first entry on Urban Dictionary has him down to a tee. The poor, misunderstood fellow.

So, there we have it. One post about why we have a "What about the menz?" meme within the blogosphere and why it's not about YOU - you'd better hope it's not about you - and why a Nice Guy is not a Nice Guy™ and also why a Nice Guy™ falls under the "what about the menz?" category.

Men who may be reading this, if you find yourself somewhat offended by what I'm saying about a minority of your gender then you are one of the agents of change. When you hear or see a Nice Guy™ in action, tell him to shut the fuck up and show some respect for women.

When you are reading some blog comments and see a "what about the menz?" don't go on the defensive thinking that feminists are man-haters - we're not, and many feminists are men who are also engaging in the commentary dialogue - go and re-read the post, the comments and see if you can pick out why someone's picked them up on it and remind yourself that we're not shouting at your gender, we're not shouting at YOUR agenda, we're telling a derailing person to Shut The Fuck Up and stop silencing us in our own spaces.

To sum up, if you respect women then stand up for them when you see someone trying to trample them down. Feminism isn't just for women, feminism will go further and manage better things when we have more men on side who won't stand by and let sexism go unchecked. The patriarchy hurts men as well. Let's all put a stop to it.


Here's a delightful Tumblr Blog dedicated to the utter shite that Nice Guys™ spew out in the direction of the objects of their affections on dating sites. May I also suggest reading The Game by Neil Strauss - particularly if you're a lady-type but also if you present as male so you can spot the douche-canoes from a mile off and not accidentally end up as a Nice Guy™. Some misguided fools use it as an actual dating tool. Just a heads up there.