"The menz"

I generally hate the term "what about the menz?" however, because it's so misunderstood, it's probably worth a post to explain it.

If you identify as male and are reading this post, don't automatically assume that "the menz" is about you, personally. You likely don't even realise how finely tuned the world is to being all about you. I shall forgive you for thinking that "the menz" actually means "ALL THE MEN EVER AND ZOMG WHY ARE SOME WOMEN BEING SO MEAN ABOUT MY ENTIRE GENDER?" - it's not. It really, seriously, isn't unless you try to silence other people - usually women - who were discussing something that wasn't about you.

Men commonly derail a conversation to be about what they think we should be talking about. For example, there might be a debate about something that is usually a women's issue. Feminists (there are male feminists, by the way and you are most welcome to join us) will be talking about the topic and about how it affects women. Whilst everyone should discuss this, regardless of gender/gender identity, it's all too often that a cis-man will come along and say "Hang on, this affects men too. Why aren't you talking about what happens to the men? [what about the menz?]" - clue: it's because the topic wasn't about men. If you want to discuss how the issue in point affects men then there's an entire fucking internet out there for you to go and discuss it on and if we want to contribute to that discussion then I'm sure we'll do so.

 I am a cis-female, I have thin-privilege and because I didn't realise even what that was, I once went and derailed a conversation being had by women who were fat by denying that I had privilege and making the conversation about myself. "WAAAH WHAT ABOUT THE SKINNY PEOPLE?" which, in hindsight, was a silly thing to do but thankfully I was politely pulled up on what I'd said, why it wasn't okay, I learnt something, apologised and have since learnt that you do not wade incoherently into other people's spaces and deny their lived experience because WAAAH I SUFFER TOO AND WHAT ABOUT ME? I could have easily contributed to a conversation about being fat from a thin perspective without making it all about me.

And that, hopefully, should explain the "What about the menz?" stance that many people take on the blogosphere, especially when it's about women's issues. I have yet to see a bunch of women turning up on a Men's Rights Activist blog and start crying "what about teh wimminz?" so do grant us the favour of Not Derailing when we're talking about women's issues. Yes, we bloody know that some of the issues affect men but if it's not on topic then Shut The Fuck Up. It's not about you all of the damned time.

Harriet always says things better than I ever could so let's read her blog post as well. 

Notes
1. cis-woman/cis-man means that you identify as the gender that was assigned at birth.
2. I dislike the term overweight and I don't use the word "fat" in an offensive manner. Health at every size and body-positive regardless of what the scales say.